So this is just an FYI. Because of the sensitive nature of many details of our adoption, I have created a new blog just for adoption details. That doesn't mean that I won't ever post here, but the more detailed versions of information, especially once we actually know more about our kiddo, will only be on that blog. If you'd like to follow that one, send me a message or comment here. I will then pass on the name of the blog to you!
We are so blessed and excited to announce that we have been paired with a country! INDIA!
I think I have written about this earlier, but we are using Dillon International and were a part of their Open Options program. While we had some leanings, we just did not know for sure where God wanted us to adopt. We had a hard time saying that one place's needs overshadowed another. This is not to degrade anyone else, only to say that we did not have a clear vision for which country we should choose. We were interested in India which is what brought us to Dillon, but when we saw their Open Options program we knew they were perfect for us! This program allowed us to fill out our application and even our home study application without knowing our country yet. Then, the agency made recommendations to us based on our age preferences, the ages of our children, the special needs we are able to take on, and such. India was the best fit, hands down!
So many things led us to believe that India was the perfect fit for us and the agency just confirmed it. India is prevalent in our lives. We love the culture, history, and food of India so we are excited to incorporate even more of it into our family. We want our little one to have some of their birth country in their home! I have dreamt of a girl from India and her struggles. I have many friends working in India. It has just infiltrated our lives with India and created a special place for this amazing country in our hearts. It seems so perfect, then, that God saw fit to give us a little one from India. Every good and every perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of lights with who there is no variation or shadow due to change. Amen. We still do not know the age, gender, or special needs of our child, but
it feels so amazing to see one step forward in God's plan.
This is the face of waiting for me. I mean, I really do this. When I am waiting on someone to call me, I anxiously hold my phone up to my face. I don't know why. So I guess this might be my adoption face off and on for a while. It's kind of crazy how much waiting there is in all this, but it's also kind of crazy how much beauty there is in all this.
A recent acquaintance and I were just talking about the juxtaposition of beauty and difficulty in adoption. I'm not that far along, but I already feel the heartbreak of this birth mom having to give up her child. I feel the pain in knowing my child will have health and emotional problems. I feel the agony of knowing they will grieve the loss of their home country. I tire of the task of fundraising already and we are not even a quarter of the way there. I pray tears of desperation to God in this pain.
But there is also Joy! So much beauty and joy! I have seen God's comfort and love in my heart so tangibly already. I have watched The Body of Christ begin to stand up around in prayer and support. I am beyond excited to add another culture's food, traditions, and language to our family! I have felt so much excitement in meeting other adopting and fostering mommy's. It's incredible the wealth of knowledge and wisdom there is in these women. It's beauty how we come together and direct each other to Christ in the midst of (what feels like) crisis.
It's so difficult, but it's beautiful. So Beautiful.
It has been an interesting week with lots of ups and downs. Two weeks is probably more appropriate. Our little man had a set back in growth and we discovered that he is anemic. We really kept it to ourselves for a while because, honestly, I have a hard time talking about it. Updating a large group of people on something that makes you feel a bit like a failure is just difficult. But, I got the good news this week that he has already gained a pound back in the two weeks since his last appointment. So he just had a little dip and it really should not be a big deal long term. Praise the Lord.
Then, great news, we met our t-shirt goal! We have been selling t-shirts to help spread the word and raise funds for our adoption. We were hoping to sell 75 shirts and we sold exactly 76 shirts! Only the Lord could have done it. We had several people order shirts that we don't even know and some just support us on top of that. I have been overwhelmed by how the Lord has used His people for His glory!
Then, we found out that our adoption application was lost in the mail. I was so upset and deeply frustrated. But I know that God has purpose in it. We are filling it out again and I have just been so blessed by how God is showing me Himself in the little things. He is SO good. I'm not saying that it is not difficult, or frustrating, or hard on my emotions. It is. But I know that God has a plan even in this. I don't know what the plan is, but I know it exists. I'm confident. I am prayerful. And I am further reminded that this process will always have its ups and downs.