Brave Adventure

Brave Adventure

Sunday, December 6, 2009

2 Weeks to Matrimony

Happy (it is actually less than) Two Weeks until the Wedding!

It is currently after midnight making it 12 days until Cal and I's Wedding day. We have one more important meeting and a few little details until the whole thing is complete. How crazy it is to be this close to finally being a Mrs.! (I'm not sure if the . and then the ! is technically correct or not) My bedroom at home (currently my parents home) is beginning to look a little sadder due to the lack of familiar things present. Paddy (my dad) doesn't quite agree, but that's because all of my posessions are, in true Claire character, currently all over the floor. However, my bed is gone (I'm sleeping on the down stairs double bed mattress with my twin bed comforter on the floor, this is exactly like my college arrangement ironically), all but 1 of my instruments are gone, over half of my clothes are gone, I have less than 10 pairs of shoes in my closet (if you know me well- whoa.), my desk is clear, the drawers are cleaned out and many things are gone. My "wedding corner" where I put all things wedding no longer looks like a corner because there are not things on both sides of it....awkward. But, no matter how weird it seems, as I stair at my ceiling which seems now much further away, I think how much closer this makes me to having a home with my best friend, my love, Cal.

To celebrate this moment, I thought I would share with you my latest thoughts on marriage/engagement:
I think that one thing I continually learn as we are engaged, and expect to learn after we're married, is that I am one selfish person. I mean, I don't necessarily go out of my way to be selfish to someone, nothing like that, but it just let's me know even just mentally how selfish I am. I don't want medicine to go in the kitchen because it "goes" in the bathroom. (except ibuprofen, acetaminophine and lactaid) I want the bathroom cleaned the "right" way and so many other silly little things. The great thing is that the more I am confronted with my selfishness, the more God helps me to learn how to be selfless. Marriage is such the perfect context for this lesson too! Especially right now when we're in the beginning, as Shareen would call it, "WOOO WOO" stages of love, (prayer dinner shout out!) I want nothing more than for Cal to be happy. I don't want to hurt him in any way! This helps me see that when we disagree about these little things, the toothpaste is squeezed in the middle until the last possible moment, or the shower curtain needs to be closed after ever use, that marriage is not about changing someone else, getting my own way, or teaching him how to meet my needs. It shows me that I am getting the privilege of considering someone else better than myself (I don't mean being a jerk to myself), wanting to do something for him, wanting to think of his needs, wanting to love him how he needs to be loved, and the even greater privilege of showing an unbelieving world that unconditional love really exists through Christ. God has given us the privilege of showing to the world the greatest picture of gospel we can partake in. How exciting that is! The more Cal and I read the Bible and all it has to offer on marriage as well as some Godly books (with some awesome influences of Godly couples), the more I am convinced of this privilege! This task, though a blessing, is kind of overwhelming and impossible to do perfectly. So, in our effort to show the Gospel to the world through our marriages, we are pushed closer to the Gospel because we cannot do it of our own strength. We have to rely on Christ. We have to ask God to change our hearts and our desires for they are not the same as God's. (Isaiah anyone?) But God is so faithful to do that. He is forgiving, and He helps us forgive. He loves unconditionally and He helps us love unconditionally. He works through us to show His Gospel. Praise the Lord.

Just a word on my brain.