Brave Adventure

Brave Adventure

Thursday, February 9, 2012

How "I" Became "We"

I read a friend's blog about how she went from being "I" to being "we" - Marriage! So I decided to copy!

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
    We started dating April 18th, 2008! We had been "talking" for about two weeks before that and he'd been pursuing me for months (though I didn't notice, I just thought that's how he was with all the ladies) We got engaged March 28th, 2009 and married December 19th, 2009. So we have been married over 2 years and "together" in the vicinity of 3 years.

2. How did you meet? (what's your "love" story?)
    Well here is the version I wrote for the wedding website way back when and I figure it's still correct.
     From Cal's side-
I met Claire at the BSM. She was a challenge. She was smart and clever and witty and sarcastic and etc. We went to Discovery weekend in Arlington and I was one of the drivers. Claire and Valarie were with me. Valarie slept the whole way to and from Arlington so I was stuck with Claire. This turned out to be a good thing. From this point I figured Claire was worth pursuing. She asked me to go swinging and we had a genuine conversation. This led to hanging out and much liking. Very much liking. From there our relationship matured and here we are. Now it's Claire's turn...
      From Claire-
Well let's say that my explanation is going to be significantly longer. Cal and I met once I was leaving my Bible Study at the BSM. He was teaching one that was meeting outside of my room, so when my friend stopped to chat, I stopped to chat. I was sitting in between Cal and Alicia and Cal reached over, stole my flip flop, and through it across the room. The nerve. Alicia told me she'd started to wear closed toed shoes so that he wouldn't do that to her- did someone say challenge? I wore flip flops. One week he through my flip flop across the room because he wanted my chair, when I got up to get it, he took my chair. This just wouldn't do. I took his hat (and if you know him, this is a crime) and threw it across the room, reclaiming my chair. He tried to drag me with him, but was unable to hold me captive. He still wanted the chair after reclaiming his hat, so he sat on me. Just sat right down on me. I unzipped his back pack and one by one took things out, spreading them around our area. He had to get up. I won. This started our friendship. We normally just talked before Journey (BSM Bible study) every week because we were both early, but sometimes I saw him at other things or on campus. He was pretty nice, real sarcastic. When we went to Discovery weekend I'm pretty sure I talked enough for two the whole way there and the whole way back, I have a real distaste for silence. At Discovery Weekend I was not having the greatest of times. Cal was really nice to me, encouraging me with stories of his love for missions, and just being a friend. He gave some great hugs that weekend. I really thought we'd be good friends, but didn't expect much else- I was dating someone else. Plus...all of his friends told me he was a flirt haha! He got up the guts to ask me to ring dance way in advance, poor guy, only to be rejected because...hello...I was dating someone. Well, things didn't work out in that relationship, and I found myself available. (*time passes here*) Cal came to my ring dunk and proceeded to try to pursue me at that time- another slight fail because I really was unaware of his intentions. Well the weekend of ring dance rolls around and I find out, from a reliable source, that Cal just didn't go since I said no. I felt awful! I texted him to say that I was sorry in a sort of awkward way (but with me, is there any other way?) and we ended up chatting and making jokes about the "rule of thumb." (if you don't know, don't ask.) The Sunday he was headed back, we were texting and I said that I thought the weather was lovely and wished I could go swing, he said he was in and that we should. When he got back we went to the park to swing, staying for around two hours, and then going to Sonic (kudos for remembering non-dairy ice cream) and chatted there on the benches for a while- he skipped frisbee, whoa. That led to a lot of hanging out that week, and late (4am) nights of watching movies and talking. Our ending conversation that first time went something like this:
Cal: Do you want to be my girl-friend?
Me: No. We haven't even been on a date yet.
Cal: What are you doing tomorrow?
Me: Weekdays don't count.
Cal: *arbitrary frustration grunt noise* har ar ar ar ar
A few weeks later we went on our date (Cafe Capri, Star gazing and Sleepless in Seattle) and started dating- April 18th. Between semester fun, awkward parental first meet and greet, Asia, songfest and some time long distance (but not as long as Asia), we've fallen in love through the grace of God. God really did bring us together to begin with (trust me there's more story here to be told) and God is going to keep us together. He answers prayers, He brings strength, and delivers patience. He has been so good to us and I'm only that much more excited to see what He has for our future.

3. If married, how long have you been married?
    We have been married 2 years, 1 month, 21 days (782 days total)!

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding? 
    We had a large wedding. We sent out over 500 invitations and then told anyone we knew that it was a more the merrier type of situation. We figured we had rented the space, why not share the day with everyone we love! Since it was so close to Christmas, everything looked enchanted because of all the Christmas lights, trees, ornaments, garland, poinsettias, and big red velvet bows. We actually barely decorated at all, but the places we used (Travis Avenue Baptist Church and Mira Vista Country Club) were already so beautifully decorated there was not much else to do! We had an incredibly meaningful (Bride: so meaningful, Audience: so long) ceremony because we really wanted God to be glorified in all aspects and to show that it was not about us, but Him. Then, we went and PARTIED for the reception. There was great food and lots of dancing! We chose all music from the '40s through '60s, but focused heavily on Big Band and the Rat Pack. Lots of fun, but very classy.
(Friend: Why isn't the DJ taking music requests? I wanted to request [rap song].
Claire: That's why the DJ isn't taking music requests.)

5. Do you have any nicknames that you call one another? Share!
    Confession: I am a nickname giver. I love to give people nicknames and the longer we are friends, the more you may or may not accumulate. Cal is the lucky recipient of around 10 nicknames at this point. I will not share them all because most of them are silly and situational so they aren't funny to read about, but I'll share a couple. I called him Wrench for a long time because he was the "wrench" in my life plan (for the better). I call him Nuke for the same reasons (and because he's a nuclear engineer). Lately I've started calling him Baby Daddy for fun. Those are the only ones that aren't embarrassing and can be explained in a short story I think.

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.
     Cal is definitely the Provider in our household. He works so tirelessly to make sure that we have enough day-to-day. Cal never complains. I'm so serious. He works hard at work, he works hard at home, he cooks, he cleans, he takes care of his whiny pregnant wife, he is a handy man when needed, etc, but never complains about the burden. Cal loves unconditionally. Cal really and truly loves me. He does so many things to show me this that the list would take forever to give you, but he is daily sacrificing himself in order to bring me comfort and show me love, he's the best. 

7. Tell us how he proposed!
    This is a slightly comical story, but really was perfect for us. If you read the story about how we got together, you know that our first alone hang out was at a park on the swings. So he came to College Station early one weekend and after school Friday, he wanted to hang out. I was house sitting and wanted to take the dog to the park but he had other plans. So we went alone to the park of our first hang out (which made me mad because if he wanted to go to the park, we should've walked the dog - I was so oblivious), buuuuuuut there were all these women doing aerobics in the park, letting their little kids play everywhere, and had taken the swings down. Slightly less than romantic (I would like to throw in that it was test week and I had done very little showering, so I was a little gross at the time). So we go back to my duplex to hang out and I'm showing him this book on how to plan a wedding (long story), when he says "Well, you can't plan a wedding unless you're engaged." I thought he was making fun and for a fleeting moment almost left the room without turning to even look at him. If you know me, though, I rarely skip confrontation so I turned around to tell him what I thought and there he was, on one knee, ring box in hand. He asked me to marry him and I said yes! We told my roommates only (hilarious story here) then went to Excell Steakhouse (we'd been wanting to try it for ages, it's super fancy, and he'd made reservations) and had game night at his house (he'd convinced me to plan it ironically) so that I could tell each of our friends, one at a time, that we were engaged. So fun! The next day he'd arranged for both sets of parents to come into town to celebrate again!

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?
    I'd  say he's really a neither kind of guy. We are not big gift givers, he tends to give me things I need done more than tangible objects, and we don't celebrate Valentine's Day usually. I think if he were to have to pick it would be flowers and chocolate because he knows what flowers I like and that chocolate never fails with me. I'm pretty much always addicted to chocolate, but pregnancy has only increased this love. (If you don't have to watch your weight than why not indulge in some extra chocolate!)

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?
    Well I don't like the beach really (more like the ocean - things live in there that could kill you), and I'm the most frugal person on the planet, so we tend to be the pop in a movie and relax type. Every now and then if we're feeling crazy, we'll buy a fried pie at Whataburger to make life exciting. If I'm feeling a little more mushy (men read: needy), we don't watch a movie at all, we just relax on the couch and talk about life/books/etc.

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?
        We would really love to go to Italy together if it was a vacation sort of thing. More so, though, we would both like to take each other back to some of the places that have been significant for us as far as missions go. I'd love to take him with me to Moldova, show him the orphanage, and introduce him to Silvia, the girl we sponsor. He would love to take me to Indonesia for similar reasons.

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.
      On Valentine's Day I'm not sure what we'll do because our normal plans (Home Group) got cancelled. We'll probably watch a movie and eat chicken and rice? Maybe I'll make a cake to celebrate? This Saturday, we are doing a mini-celebration with some friends just for fun. They are coming over to our NEW HOUSE and we're going to eat dinner (everyone brings a part) and then decorate cupcakes together. I'm planning to put up a little bit of decorations so that should be fun. I'll also probably wear red to be festive. If you know me, you know that I love any excuse to throw a theme party! We might even pull out the china for this shindig.

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day? I guess nothing. February has already been a big spending month with the purchase of the house. Maybe my Valenday gift will be the paint we got for RB's room, that was more expensive than I thought it would be. I'd say new lingerie or something scandalous like that, but let's face reality here that I'm way to large (Cal would say "not large, pregnant!") for that sort of thing. If I can manage to feel pretty on that day, we'll just call it an accomplishment.

13. Give us one piece of advice about keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
      Always assume the best in your spouse. Marriage is hard work and if anyone tells you it's not, they are lying to you. Marriage/love is also a choice that you make. I don't wake up every morning and think to myself "oh the joys of being married, let's go make a casserole". I didn't become Donna Reed just because I got married, life isn't like that. I do, however, wake up every morning and choose to love my spouse. I have to assume the best in him at all times. I believe that when it all comes down to brass tacks that Cal loves me, has my best at heart, and is trying to center this family around God. I have to filter everything else through that basic belief. If he hurts my feelings, I can then assume he didn't do it on purpose. If he forgets something, I know it wasn't because he was thoughtless. The list goes on, but assuming the best in him goes a long way. It helps me cool down faster, it helps us not have fights (we still discuss things, but we don't have to raise our voices or run out of the room angry or whatever), it really makes the difference.

14. Show us a picture of what love means to you.

He's all dressed up for me!


  1. Claire! LOVED this write so well and had me laughing constantly...and it is SOOOO fun to see you and Cal so so happy together!:):):) CANNOT WAIT FOR YOUR BABY TO GET HERE! CONGRATS on your house!

  2. Ok I tried to comment on this but it didn't work???? Hmm...anyways LOVE the post and so happy for you two!(um...three actually)
    ~Emily Dosch Esparza:)

    1. Loved both comments - thank you! We are excited for our baby too, it's way too crazy to even wrap my mind around!

  3. Stealing this!

    Also, you are HILarious. And I miss you. And happy Valentine's Day!