Brave Adventure

Brave Adventure

Monday, April 30, 2012

1 Month Photos

I have good news everyone! I am going to post a few pictures that we had taken of little Rebekah thanks to the lovely Mallory Wiese! She was an incredible photographer and I love getting to work with friends. She was so patient with the Little One to get just the right beautiful picture. Here are a few!

Snuggle Up

Taken under the Peach Tree planted to celebrate her birth

"I am 1 Month old!"

Friday, April 27, 2012

I finally get it


Love this little girl! Isn't she the cutest!

Today I had one of those days where I finally understood. Before today I could not understand why some people would silence their entire house while their baby slept when everyone tells you to keep it loud so that they will sleep better. I've kept our house fairly loud or at least have done all of my regular stuff while she slept, but it turns out that I was mostly just blessed with a baby who sleeps well. She can sleep through just about anything, Praise the Lord. (literally!!) Don't get me wrong, she had bad naps but overall she slept a good amount each day. 

Well today started out like any other day. She slept two sessions that were 4-5 hours apart (well from beginning of the feeding to beginning of the next feeding) and I was set to take a morning nap from 6:30-9:30am because she usually sleeps just beautifully at this time of day. I'm not always tired at this time of day so sometimes it's just a resting time where I get to read or just have some "me time", but today I was tired. Anyway, I curl up under the covers after checking the monitor's volume 3 times like the paranoid first time mom I am, and Little Bit has (what I'm thinking at the time) the nerve to wake up and demand more food from me! So I think that maybe she just didn't get enough last time or maybe she burped after I put her down so she needs to be topped off. Nope, she had another full feeding. Maybe this is another growth spurt and she'll eat more often? In that case, she would still sleep an hour or so. 

Did she go to bed? No.

In fact, she did not take a good nap pretty much all day. She slept in the car on the way to my doctor's appointment (getting my vaccines updated so I can register for classes), but stayed awake through the whole appointment. She slept a tad bit between two of her feedings, but she would only sleep if she was laying on me. I think you can imagine that I was a bit low on my caloric intake today. You just stop thinking about yourself and what you need when all you do all day is change diapers and try to entertain your little girl. I even put her down to let her cry it out several times, but she just would not sleep. Goodness gracious. When she finally cried it out and went down around 4-4:30pm I just collapsed on the couch. I realized that I had not had more than a bowl of soup all day so I fed myself and turned on a stupid TV show that did not require my in-depth attention. When the husband came home I almost told him not to speak just to make sure that she didn't wake up. I wanted to turn off the TV show, not microwave my food, leave the door open for Cal, and put my phone on silent. I wanted to stop the dishwasher and do just anything I could to keep her asleep. While I didn't do all of this because I was mostly just too exhausted to muster up the energy, I got it. I understood why this desire is so so tempting. Your nerves are rattled, you're tired, you're hungry, you need some space even. Then (in my case) the husband comes home but has an engagement to help move someone and cannot lend a hand, so you think to yourself "she has to sleep or I'll lose it". So though she is sleeping now and will hopefully sleep well tonight, I feel like I had a revelation today.

Now I sit here, watching hulu (Saturday Night Glee-ver anyone?), and taking careful breaths because I know she could wake up at any moment and I need to savor this time of rest that God has graciously given me. I should probably go ahead and eat dinner. 

Happy 6 Weeks!

First Family Photo - Taken on my birthday at the Waterwall

Monday, April 23, 2012

Rebekah's First Post

(Note: Rebekah cannot actually type or tell me any of this at this point, so as her mother I am guess-ta-mating)

Happy Birthday Mommy!

Now I know that technically the 23rd starts at midnight and so you should get to start your birthday (or as you have been trying to convince me, birth week) immediately, but I just want you to know... I have other plans. In fact, I think I'll be hitting a growth spurt about 8pm. That means that all night I will be waking up every 2 hours instead of the 3-5 hours you have become accustom to over the past couple weeks. I hope you don't mind. Well, even if you do mind... sorry. You really are my only source of food and diaper changing at 3am. I let Daddy calm me down until midnight so that we could start your birthday off together. Quality bonding time! I know it doesn't feel like affection when you're sleep deprived, but tomorrow when you look back on our night together you will again feel those maternal instincts and be glad that we have this connection. You will not be sorry that you got up with me every time I cried to feed me. You will feel blessed by my life and will even stop to pray and thank the Lord for me. Trust me. It's hard now, it doesn't feel like a birthday present at the moment, but once the sun comes up you'll feel better. You will feel like it's all worth it. You will feel like a good mommy and my happy little sleepy face as I fall asleep in your lap yet again will say it all. You might even feel the need to take pictures of me even though it's your birthday.

I love you, I know you, I see you, I prefer you, Happy Birthday,

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Growing into Kidneys

Well the most recent update is good and bad-ish at the same time. It's not really bad, but... well you'll see.

Cutest little bath time baby ever
So, she had a VCUG (please do not ask what this stands for, I do nooot know) which determines that she does not have reflux. I have heard many people are thinking that when we said reflux, we meant acid reflux. That's not the case, although I'm thankful she doesn't seem to have that either! This would have meant that the "clean" urine that went from her kidneys to her bladder was coming back up from the bladder (aka no longer "clean") and into her kidneys - infection city. So they injected dye into her bladder and scanned her a few times to see if it would come back up into her kidneys. It did not which is great news. I will say that the procedure was traumatic for both baby and mommy, but we survived. I managed not to cry as they held down her arms and legs, put a catheter in, and did the test. Claire - 1, Hospital - 0

They also did some bloodwork where they took 2 whole vials of blood from baby girl's arm. Man, that angry cry is something I am now quite familiar with. They did this to determine if her kidneys were functioning. They are! Well at least one of them is functioning. The blood tells the doctor if there is functioning kidney available, but does not let the doctor know if it's coming from both kidneys or just one. But for the moment at least one (which is liveable) is functioning and she is making tons of pee filled diapers. I also managed not to get hysterical at this appointment and only let one tear out during the appointment. Claire - 2, Hospital - 0

The bad-ish news is that we don't know what is wrong and that we have to wait until she is 4 months old for the next appointment to see what happens. She may grow out of it on her own (or as some people have humorously joked, she will grow into her kidneys) or it may get worse, but it won't be enough to tell until she is 4 months old. So we are in a waiting pattern for now and she is on antibiotics to keep her from getting any infections until we know more.

In the mean time, enjoy this adorable picture of Rebekah's first bath experience (which she hated)!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Two Weeks as a Mommy

I have officially survived two weeks as a Mommy and am loving every bit of it. Here is a picture of Rebekah and me cuddling on the couch. We look like a puff ball of pink, but it's still sweet. She loves it when I wear this robe (thank you for the suggestion Lindsey!).

Baby girl is amazing and exhausting and beautiful and tiny and so many other things. I am also feeling more emotions than I knew I could and sometimes all at the same time. I read an article the other day and it talked about how being a good mother. It said that you can love your baby absolutely and still have moments where you want to place your little bundle of joy outside on the porch because they will just not. stop. crying. This does not make you a bad mom. (I'm guessing the bad part happens when you actually put your baby on the porch alone) I have felt so much love for this little girl, but there have been a few nights when I thought "if girl-friend doesn't sleep, she may need to find a new residence" or "when does our babysitting end and this baby goes home". This makes me normal. The good news is that the desire to send her home with someone else is never a lasting emotion because I am so in love with this little girl. One of the best and most frustrating things about being a mommy is that only you are mommy. Only you can feed her, only you (sometimes) can calm her, only you smell like mommy, only you sound like mommy. Sometimes it just has to be mommy! I love that she prefers me. I love that sometimes even though she is worked up beyond belief that I can pick up her up in my arms and she immediately stops crying. Is there anything better?? Yet sometimes I just wish someone else could feed her so I could get just one more hour of sleep. In those moments though I just wake up, walk to the living room, pick her up, and think - it is worth it.

Eat that blanket!
Look at that face! How could it not be worth it? Some updates on our little girl:
  • She is staying awake more during the day and sleeping at night
  • She has regained most of her weight and I'm sure by now she's regained it all. She is an AMAZING eater and sleeper when she wants to be. 
  • She is so so strong. She can lift her head and is already making some movements like she wants to crawl. It's a bit crazy! 
  • She recognizes mommy's voice and smell even in a crowd. 
  • She has her big kidney scan (VCUG) this Thursday and we appreciate your prayers. She also has an upcoming hip scan because she was breech for so long.
  • She is changing fast!!