Brave Adventure

Brave Adventure

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Doctors

So I have recently decided that doctors and I are not the best of friends. This has, I suppose, always been the case because I am just a mess of medical issues. I had lots of stomach problems growing up, lots of tests done there, they thought I was depressed at one point only to discover I was lactose intolerant... weird. I've always had a gimpy stomach. Then as I began to travel overseas I would always come back with something I picked up (when everything comes out green... it's a problem, also don't eat ice cream in a 3rd world country). Then issues with pregnancy. Anyway, I have passed this on, from conception, to my child.

Recently, we went to the doctor for her 4 month checkup only to discover that she has lost a lot of weight for a 4 month old. I won't go in to all the possibilities for this, but she is not exactly sick just not eating enough. I just feel like every time I go to the doctor it's something. How I crave those appointments where they say "everything's looking good" and let me go home. We'd been doing so well up to now! Her kidneys are still sort of an unknown, but everything else was normal. Ugh. So the next two days were spent with me attempting to force my child to take more feedings. Well, guess what else she got from me... she's stubborn. Not only did she refuse the extra feedings, she was so mad at me for attempting to give her the extra feeding that she went even longer than normal between feedings. Girl-friend has a will for sure. She would arch her back and turn her head away from me so that I could not physically feed her. The only way I managed to get in an extra feeding was to pump and then feed her that in a bottle. Extra Argh! So can I just some up the past two days as really difficult and have you understand that once she went to bed each night all I wanted to do was let Cal hold me. I just laid on the couch in his arms and last night included a few tears. In the moment I always can call upon the Lord and keep calm to help her stay calm, but once I got her to bed it was like all the day's stress just came out my eyes.

I have figured out a few helpful things. For one she has a bruise from one of the shots on her leg so that is why she was screaming at least on one side for nursing - I take comfort here because that will get better. The bottle knowledge while not my favorite is at least comforting because I could pump and give it to her that way. At least she won't starve.

So this morning as I was driving home from dropping the husband off at work and praying to the Lord that today would be different despite the fact it has all the opportunity to be bad since it's the day of her renal ultrasound, this song came on the radio. Have you ever had a song just speak to your need and as you sang it you could not even voice the words because the tears were choking out the sound? This song did that for me. I encourage to sing it as a prayer as I did in the car this morning. Praise the Lord, for He is worthy.

Your Great Name Lyrics
Performed by Natalie Grant

Lost are saved; find their way; at the sound of Your Great Name

All condemned; feel no shame; at the sound of Your Great Name
Every fear; has no place; at the sound of Your Great Name
The enemy; he has to leave; at the sound of Your Great Name


Chorus

Jesus, worthy is the Lamb that was slain for us
Son of God and man you are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise Your Great Name

Verse 2

All the weak; find their strength; at the sound of Your Great Name
Hungry souls; receive grace; at the sound of Your Great Name

The fatherless; they find their rest; at the sound of Your Great Name
Sick are healed, and the dead are raised. At the sound of Your Great Name

Chorus

Jesus, worthy is the Lamb; that was slain for us
Son of God and man; you are high and lifted up
that all the world will praise Your Great Name.
Your Great Name.

Redeemer, my Healer; Lord Almighty

My Savior; Defender; you are my King
Redeemer; my Healer; Lord Almighty
My Savior; Defender; you are my King


Jesus, the Name of Jesus, you are high and lifted up; that all the world will praise your Great Name.

Savior, Son of God and man; you are high and lifted up; all the world will praise Your Great Name. Your Great Name. Your Great Name.

2 comments:

  1. I promise us doctor people aren't trying to be mean, we're just trying to protect her! I'm glad you were able to get her to eat!

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  2. Sometimes it feels like the tough days all come at once, huh? You are such an awesome mommy and Rebekah is so blessed to have you! Praying for strength and mental fortitude for you as you encourage her to take more feedings. She is a precious, beautiful little girl!!

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