Sunday, July 13, 2014

This Process

Many of you may be following me on Instagram (MummertsAdopt) or read my last post, seeing this photo:





We have been slowly but surely working our way through the special care list as part of our adoption application. Every night we tackle one (or two if they are smaller) section. We spend so much time researching each disease, issue, syndrome, and more on a medical encyclopedia. We look at treatment, long term care, therapy, and anything it takes. We are just coating this process in prayer, asking God to show us our calling. We know that He already knows our future little and He is guiding us to check the right boxes. But can I just say something?

This is heavy.

Heavy stuff. Last night we began the neurological section of the application and it just weighed on me so heavily. Autism, Cerebral Palsy, Spina Bifida, Meningitis, Neurofibromatosis, just to name a few. Each one just saw my heart sink further into my chest. Children have these conditions. Babies. Toddlers. And while we are trying to say yes to as much as possible, we cannot say yes to everything. God just hasn't called us to that at this time. Maybe He will later, but right now He has only given us a peace about so much. I have a close friend that has needed to remind me over and over that God will show us what is right for our family. She also has reminded me that I do not need to feel guilt over what we have not been called to at this time. 

But it's so hard. It's so hard. Not only is it just tough not to be able to take everyone regardless, but in realizing that there are these children. There is this darkness. There are toddlers waiting for forever families who have polio or something else debilitating. There are these babies who we cannot take. It just feels like such a weight on my heart. I am so excited to help those we can, but there are so many more. The weight is almost unbearable. 

But God is still good. Today, in worship, I was really blessed by this song. God knew my heart needed a reminder of His goodness, His control, and His love for these children. He has not forgotten them

You give life, You are love
You bring light to the darkness
You give hope, You restore
Every heart that is broken
Great are You, Lord

It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise
We pour out our praise
It's Your breath in our lungs
So we pour out our praise to You only

-All Sons and Daughters

1 comment:

  1. Love that song! Love you. Praying for you both as you walk through it together. You are not alone! Talk soon!

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