This is the face of waiting for me. I mean, I really do this. When I am waiting on someone to call me, I anxiously hold my phone up to my face. I don't know why. So I guess this might be my adoption face off and on for a while. It's kind of crazy how much waiting there is in all this, but it's also kind of crazy how much beauty there is in all this.
A recent acquaintance and I were just talking about the juxtaposition of beauty and difficulty in adoption. I'm not that far along, but I already feel the heartbreak of this birth mom having to give up her child. I feel the pain in knowing my child will have health and emotional problems. I feel the agony of knowing they will grieve the loss of their home country. I tire of the task of fundraising already and we are not even a quarter of the way there. I pray tears of desperation to God in this pain.
But there is also Joy! So much beauty and joy! I have seen God's comfort and love in my heart so tangibly already. I have watched The Body of Christ begin to stand up around in prayer and support. I am beyond excited to add another culture's food, traditions, and language to our family! I have felt so much excitement in meeting other adopting and fostering mommy's. It's incredible the wealth of knowledge and wisdom there is in these women. It's beauty how we come together and direct each other to Christ in the midst of (what feels like) crisis.
It's so difficult, but it's beautiful. So Beautiful.