The flames lit on their little heads and bravely and dangerously went they onward. - Garrison Keillor
Lately, I have lost a bit of my theme for this year. My husband and I decided on two words that would sum up how we wanted to live this year - Brave. Adventure. We mean it in so many ways too - physically, emotionally, spiritually. We want to be all in, living life to the fullest.
But something happened that changed things a bit....RB turned 3.
Now this may not sound like a big deal to you, but something in my little one turned on that has changed our lives. She has discovered how to be defiant. We are dealing with more meltdowns (usually for not getting what she wants or not being quite old enough/big enough to accomplish a task) than ever before. It is one of the hardest seasons I have ever been through with her. I have started to feel like she may have some sensory needs (though not as extreme as many) that need to be met, we are changing discipline styles right now, and her little brother is old enough to get in her way a bit more. It's a hard time for my little girl who does not like change. She is changing and I think she really does not understand how to handle it any more than I do. We are both stuck handling an overabundance of emotion without knowing exactly the healthy outlets. So we are working on it, we are teaching, we are trying to be patient/gentle/kind, but it is hard y'all.
So I want to be honest that in the crazy I have lost site of being brave and having an adventure. I have turned into survival mode and am having a hard time turning that off. Here's to rededicating. Here's to going on walks, splashing in puddles, learning about Jesus, exploring hard questions, meeting our neighbors, trying new food, sharing the Gospel, making forts, and sleeping in tents. Here's to our brave and adventure.
But also, here's to realizing that this new phase of her life is a part of our brave adventure. Loving our kiddos with patience, kindness, gentleness, and dolling out unconditional love like it grows on trees is one of the bravest things I have ever had to do. I cannot control her responses to me and have heard many phrases from her mouth that have hurt my heart, but I will continue loving. I will be brave to love her when she cannot receive it nor appreciate it. I will be brave to give more chances, extend grace, and find healthy outlets for my own emotions and triggers. I will be brave to find a discipline style that works for her while communicating grace and love simultaneously. I will bring adventure into our lives. I will not let the difficulties overwhelm me where I no longer enjoy being all in for my children. I will not check out. I will chase bad guys, build caves, read books, pick flowers, and have adventures big and small with my littles. I will help them have big imaginations. I will help them play with each other and show them that not all adventures require mommy even if that hurts my pride a bit.
So here we go. Let's get back on this brave adventure.
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5 years ago