Sometimes just getting up and doing life feels brave. Sometimes you are dreading the moment someone needs you and tiny hands climb you for the rest of the day. It's exhausting. Even without feeding them, disciplining them, guiding their hearts, speaking truth, cleaning up messes, all the touching is just exhausting.
Now I am an extrovert so I never thought I needed alone time. I love seeing people, talking to people, being with people. Being alone makes me feel depressed and isolated. Everyone is different, there is no wrong way to be, but this is me. Yet in the midst of all the touching and needing from the kiddos, I get some alone time needs. I also get adult time needs. Like, I need to speak to an adult or I will explode type needs. Like, if I do not get to put on real clothes and eat without having to wipe someone's face, I may have a meltdown.
So when I get up in the morning, the kids aren't up yet, but I already feel like my love/patience/touchometer is already in the "you're pushing it" zone, I have to live bravely. I have to turn to the Father and beg Him for more. I have to ask for wisdom from Him "who gives generously to all without reproach" (James 1). I have to live out the choice of love even when the feeling is not all there. Well, I guess I don't have to, but I get to and I want to.